||[Mar. 21st, 2005|02:02 am]
So I had the worst birthday of my entire life. It was fucking terrible. NOTE: It ended well, and it was the birthday with the best surprises gift wise. I got great gifts. But everything before the cake blew and Im so upset right now. Im upset because Im a huge birthday person...I take them very seriously and I think they are very important..this is usually my favorite day of the entire year and my anticipation for it is extreme...|
Im selfish and dramatic and I dont care. I feel violated and robbed lol....I mean when i finally got to sit down and relax in the comfort of my own home before the cake came out I could finally breathe..and this was at 8pm..we opened presents and i was surprised and everyone showed alot of thought and also got exactly what i wanted and more..then drew nora and i went to a movie and that was fun...so the day wasnt a total waste..i should think about the positives..i have alot of ppl who love me and there are kids who arent even allowed to celebrate birthdays or are dead..im just sad ;[
I dont think next year I am celebrating..maybe drew and i and nora billy and erica if they are around will go grab a bite to eat or something..im not getting excited about it or anything i sware my deepest fondest promise..i will not go through this again..and its a shame because next year is 20..atleast for 21 if i have a shitty birthday i can drink more than ever and then the next day i wont remember..
Its funny how a birthday usually makes me so happy (even other's birthdays)..not just mine..but yet at the same tiem it has the power to rob me of sleep and happiness lol..
oh well..its just a birthday..i guess by ranting about it and venting it seems silly to be bothered by it...whatever ;[